Its exciting knowing the day is coming closer -- I hope that it isnt bumped back when it coomes to the day... thatd suck!

Its so exciting reading new messages on my wall and seeing the counter go up -- and humbles me...

Mum was trying to get photos of my legs and feet today when she had to move me but the camera had run out of battery... So maybe tomorrow... Mum and I got a bit more sleep las night ... The medication they have put me on to get me through till Monday knocks me out even with the pain soo makes for an easier night,... They told me eat what I can when I can wotever I feel like so this morning I had scrambled eggs on toast for the first time in quite a while...

We had some friends over for lunch yesterday and it was really awesome cause everyone came upstairs to eat lunch in my room! It was good catching up with them.... I think everyone slept afterwards cause of the late night before... Infact, Dad got up at 6am to help get my sister off to school and do the early morning jobs so Mum could sleep in for a little while longer as she was in with me and by 9am when all the jobs were done he went back to sleep and slept right through till 12noon - he was tired - them slept in the arvo again, though alot of that is his head injury -- it makes him tire easily...

Im trying not to think about next week as at the moment I know such few details -- so Im waiting until I hear more info from Dr. Neff --- but it is quite a hard task... There are so many things I am looking forward to, and hoping I will be able to do again,  like sitting, standing my myself, cross stich, being able to put my own make up on, getting dressed in proper clothes again, - and on my own!, wearing pants or shorts - which i havent done in 5 months, reading my books, going out for coffee, or to church, sitting at the dinner table with everyone, going to the movies, shopping, even going outside and enjoying the sun!! walking, --- yea --- but that might be a little while off as my left leg is a bit too weak at this stage.... But so many things...

I know its going to be a bumpy road... i dont actually think I really know whats up ahead of me, but no one ever does really now do they...  Sure its going to take a long time and alot of hard work but I cant wait to get back into all my swimming and stuff... They told me I cant do kickboxing again but its still my goal to run a marathon eventually!!

I really pray that the Ketamine works - not just while im on it or for a week or a month but my ultimate goal would be it worked forever -- but even 6 - 12months would be awesome... I have heard people can go into permenant remission -- now thatd be awesome...

I've got hope again - not that I didnt have any, but it was runniing low, when you have no dates, mothing to set your sites on and nothing to aim for when all thats happening is things are getting worse, I guess its understandable.... Im trusting God, I got something to look forward to now though... Something to aim for and look forward to!

I'll continue to smile though the good and bad days, but ultimately trust God that he has it in his hands and is totlly under control, with my life now, next week next year, and in the many years to come... I cant wait to see where he leads me in the many years to come --- What a neat thought!