Hey!!!  This is Mum!  I'm back!  Tonight Kylee is feeling pretty sore so I said that I would update for her.  I think I have become a fan of this site lol - not writing on it you understand, that is still very weird for me but reading all your lovely comments.  Wow!  Also I have realised that I have come to know my own daughter even more through reading her journals, not about the pain because I am very aware of that, but just how she keeps on keeping on, through it all.  Now you have to picture this.  My computer is in what we call our study, but it also incorporates a guest queen size bed.  Now, as Kylee has now moved into this room [less stairs] she is behind me as I write this, is demanding that I make sure i do a long entry and make it good!!! If I thought the pressure was bad when she was in hospital lol well its just doubled!  She says "tell them I say hi", "make sure its good, and don't forget......." 

As I sit here pondering things [I do that quite a bit] I think God must have a pretty good sense of humour.  When I was about 16 my best friend decided that her calling in life was to be a nurse.  I took one look and thought "not even slightly!"  later in my  life when doing some of those tests which highlight your giftings - I actually bombed out very badly when it came to compassion!  I mean go figure - if God was looking around for someone who could look after two people with rather heavy duty health issues, why on earth would He ever consider me to look after them! Hmm I'm still pondering on that one lol

Some of my pondering has made me realise that in life there are two types of people.  Those for whom the cup is always half full and those who only ever see it as half empty.  The half full people see the positives in life while the half empty only ever see the negatives.  My husband John is a half empy kind of personality while I seem to always see the cup half full.  Neither is right or wrong and we balance each other out quite well. For me though, as I look at alot of the sites and see the pain that alot of you have to walk through I wonder how you get through each day.  Kylee is in pain and that hurts me more than one could imagine but she is alive, she smiles and makes my day!  

The last couple of days have been quite hard for Kylee.  This morning she told me that she didn't know how she was going to get through the day!  Now as a Mum we need to have a reply!  So we scrape through our memories and pray hard to God for something that might help.  Memories, come on, where are you!  Yes, I remember.  During the first year that Kylee's dad was sick after the brain tumour I never used to look at trying to get through a day, it was way too hard.  This I was able to share with Kylee.  Sometimes it was 5 or 10 minutes at a time!  If I could get through the next 10 minutes without going crazy then that would be good, I was pretty sure I could cope with that.  After the 10 minutes I would pat myself on the back, I had made it!  That first year I think I got through in 5-10 minute modules, all the while congratulating myself for every bit of achievement.  This I was able to share with my daughter!  Amazingly enough, it made sense to her!  She didn't need to know how she would get through the day, only for the next 5-10 minutes.  The sense of achievement after each segment is the important part.  Kylee heard!  

Anyway, my dinner awaits!  Thank you for being part of this journey.

DIANNE x x x x