Hey everyone!  Mum [or Mom to those of you from the U S of A] Black is in the driving seat again.  I don't know why but this feels worse than pulling teeth.  I sit at the computer and my mind goes blank!  Actually blank is probably the wrong word because there is so much stuff going round in my mind at the moment that it just takes time for me to try and get it sorted into something that sounds OK so anyway here goes.  Yesterday was a huge day for kylee in every way.  She got presented to the nursing staff and doctors for a case example on CRPS.  They loaded her up with medication to get her upstairs to the conference room relatively pain free and did the same on the return journey.  About 30 people were present and had a huge array of questions.  One in particular had huge ramifications for Kylee, the question was asked "so what are the next steps if this doesn't work" her Dr went through a few options which included electro-therapy!  "I don't think so" came a very loud voice from the bed which sent the audience in fits of laughter.  Unfortunately this in her drug induced stupor stayed with Kylee and created alot of doubt and fear.  Last night didn't treat Kylee very kindly [even with her worship tapes] and having a nurse who spoke little English didn't help either!  Praise God that when morning came and the extra medication shot had left her system Kylee was again her positive happy self.  When I arrived at the hospital she was bed-bathed, changed, make-up on and glowing!  Much relief for tired old Mum I can assure you.  Her pain levels are still down, swelling on her left foot has gone down with the colour coming back more normal [lets face it a purple foot just doesn't look right].  Her left eye which had been troubling her for awhile with blurred vision even pulled itself into line.  How on earth CRPS can affect your bladder and eyesight I have no idea but apparently this is all part and parcel of what Kylee is up against.  She has thrown herself into the physio [which she can  have now the pain levels are down somewhat] and when gets asked if she should stop, with tears running  down her face she tells them "no" this will get me walking keep going. The ketamine dose she is on is apparently double what they would usually do on the ward and even though the pain levels are down this is only when she is still and they want it so that she can get moving.  Tomorrow morning at 6am our time her Doctor is coming in on his Easter break to put Kylee into theatre for 5 hours of a much higher dose of ketamine which can only be done with him present.  She will also be given an epidural steriod block as well.  They are hitting it hard and Kylee is doing everything in her power to stay positive and push herself as hard as she can.  That coupled with the prayers that are going on for her around the world gives me great hope for success.  Tonight I was speaking with Kylee on my return home and it looks like they are going to put in a third IV line tonight.  The first two having left bruising and much pain.  Pray for this as each injection holds its own risks for Kylee with CRPS.  As christians what the heck do we do when faced with such stuff? The reality of the physical of the here and now is not good!  Do we deny its existence?  Do we get fearful? Do we start looking for reasons, from sin in ones life to generational curses to a lack of belief?  After having walked through head injury with Kylees dad, epilepsy, anorexia and now CRPS I have came to the conclusion that bad stuff will happen and it won't always be nice, and it won't always have an easy answer attached.  We don't always have to understand why things happen, we are only asked to trust and obey.  I have grown to know my God in ways far beyond anything I could imagine because of what I have had to walk through.  "Yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil thy rod and thy staff will comfort me" I have received that comfort on so many occasions and my saviour has taken the sting of fear away from so many situations.  I believe in instant miraculous healing, I have experienced it! I believe that God is who He says he is! I believe in the power of prayer! I believe in positive affirmation! I believe that He wants what is best for myself and for my family! When Peter got out of the boat and walked towards Jesus as long as his eyes were on Him he walked on the water, the minute Peter's eyes looked down, that was when he started to sink.  Guys storms will come and the waves will wash salt into your eyes, but look for and hold fast to the eyes of Jesus and you won't sink! As I walk with Kylee through this valley called CRPS I am not afraid, my eyes are firmly on Jesus and I know that I know that Kylee will walk on water because her eyes are on Jesus 2.  She is not looking down!  I guess what I'm wanting to get across, is to encourage you, that no matter what your valley of death is to you, you have a God who is walking it with you! He has taken away the sting of fear and He is offering comfort and love and understanding.  What an awesome God we serve! My goodness on reading back I didn't realise I was even thinking about all that lol  anyway its time for this almost 50 year old woman to go to sleep blessings and much love!  he  he by the way Kylee gave me an A+ for my last entry, the only thing she was very surprised!