How fitting that Kylee's 'big hit' treatment started on Friday - Easter Friday no less.  The whole message of Easter is about suffering, death, resurrection and then life!  Now without sounding too  dramatic or emotional about it all, I think yesterday gave me a tiny taste of each of those parts.  Over the last five months I have watched the suffering that Kylee has gone through with her leg, which then moved to her arm etc.  I have sat with Kylee while she cried with frustration and pain, bathed her, carried her to the toilet and pretty much took over caring for her everyday needs.  She suffered and I suffered with her.  Then yesterday came the big hit of ketamine.  This was the answer, yay lets get it started!  She didn't go into theatre or recovery until 10am so I was scheduled to arrive at about 1pm.  I got a call from her Dr asking if I could come up and be with her for the rest of the treatment.  This meant I spent the last 2 hours with Kylee.  I left Taupo for the hour trip not really looking forward to what was coming up for me.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss lol what I found was my beautiful girl somewhere between the living and the dead  but the Dr assured me that Kylee was doing really well and what i was seeing was very normal.  "what" was the word which Kylee must have said every few seconds.  In her mind she was lost in a 'game' and she had no way out.  Looking at the fear and not being able to reach her very much was hell. I tried to put myself into her game to show her that I was there for her, I hoped it would help.  And of course I prayed!  Kylee must have run a marathon while under Ketamine as her legs - yes her bad leg too, were running and pounding the sheets.  I was praying that what I was seeing was going to bring about the 'death' of CRPS.  Once they started to bring Kylee 'out' my little girl started to come back to me.  She smiled! She couldn't believe it when she saw that she could move her arm and her leg - and that her bad leg was shaved!  I don't know who was more excited, Kylee, her Doctor or the lady who was with her [and who did the leg]. Kylees life was back!  Resurrection and life!  By 3pm Kylee was back in her room showing off to all that she could move.  She didn't need the cradle to protect her leg and arm from the blankets or the slight breeze coming through the window.  SHe was halfway sitting up!  There is still some residual pain in the ankle and hand but this is easy to cope with.  This morning she rang me to tell me that she was buttering her own toast! While in recovery Kylee's Dr informed her that he wants to do the whole procedure again on Monday and would Mum be there for the whole time.  He he the temptation to say no was running very high, do I want to go through that again with Kylee, not even slightly but us Mums just do what we have to do, so yes no problem was the answer he got lol.  I am so impressed with the care Kylee has received over the last week.  Her Dr is married with kids, all who were looking forward to having him home for Easter - no work!  I was a work widow for years I know whats its like.  Its worse for his wife cause its hard to get angry when someone is giving life back to a young girl.  So his family misses out on one full day out of the short time they have with him.  How do I express appreciation on this scale - hmm my thinking cap will have to go on.  Kylee is so happy, as too are her whole family.  I want this to be the last I will ever see of CRPS that is my prayer. The reality is that I don't know what the future will hold, but I do know who holds the future. This is Easter and and at the end of Easter on Monday when Kylee has her treatment again, this represents life and thats what I'm holding onto.  Life in abundance, life in all its fullness.  My prayers for kylee extend out to those of you who are checking on Kylee's progress and my updates.  May you have life in all its abundance 2.  Thank you for caring and being there.  Blessings  DIANNE